my life raft that no longer floats

inktuition life raft

 

I looked to without, instead of within,

the buoyancy aid that no longer swims

 

an external holding that was

just an illusion

a made-up craft, a

fake sense of inclusion.

 

So why hold on so long to an aid

that clearly no longer served me?

 

Was fear of drowning

the option that made

me feel I should adapt

and, probably, pervert

my core value?

 

Or was it the fear of feeling adrift

in a dark ocean of lonely:

that swaying sense of sad, of swirl,

afraid to let what is, unfurl.

 

(pic courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net/fantasista)

Unlucky thirteenth?

Who knows how many times we’ve split:

Is it five, nine, twelve times, or more?

Whatever.

Each time, we end back right where we started:

Square one. No better, no further.

The same old reunion,

the promises made anew.

Waiting for the other to change,

and no change beginning to come.

Then the same old fights,

scrabbling down the same old paths

of recognition and delusion.

So I wonder if this time, when we finally split for real

– for probably the thirteenth time –

will it possibly be lucky for some?

my ambivalent feelings for snow

inktuition snow

Oh, when you’re meant to be there

you don’t bother turning up:

(Christmas).

The whole world grinds to a halt

from two millimetres of you

(London).

You rock up when we don’t need you

and kids want to throw you around

(school run, 30 minutes late).

When you grow old and dark,

my heels and tyres slip warily on you

(icy reception).

Yet the fragility of your freshest flakes

makes the air a magic twinkle

(trees and fresh snowprints).

And being snowed in for days

while annoying, is freeing

(sound of your silence).

the deceit of loss

A furbo fox slips through a net,

a chicken gets surprised.

A wily boss keeps staff on board

with an ever-decreasing prize.

A playboy fools again his wife,

who withholds the sex he craves,

in denial that his wayward ways

will help to cheat the grave.

The soul gets bought with cash or time,

depends on what’s for sale.

Life’s random cull will cut and run,

and blur success with fail.

A famous face suddenly lost, now

is odds to top the charts.

A eulogistic comedy face

is drawing the last laugh.