a poem for over

Tit for tat, we shout

insult here, grievance there.

Why stay together

when we’re both stressed out.

Blame is the name of the game

you think I’m playing.

I’m tired of you pointing out

my faults.

In my wounded heart

I’m better off alone.

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NaPoWriMo 2018 Day 2: a to-and-fro on commitment

 

 

Me:

I really love you, I want to commit,

But life has me stressed

up to the armpits.

 

You:

You love your stress, can’t live without,

you create it all ways.

In you I doubt.

 

Them:

If only they knew the short time they had left

they’d spend less on the lack,

nor let fear be their theft.

 

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my life raft that no longer floats

inktuition life raft

 

I looked to without, instead of within,

the buoyancy aid that no longer swims

 

an external holding that was

just an illusion

a made-up craft, a

fake sense of inclusion.

 

So why hold on so long to an aid

that clearly no longer served me?

 

Was fear of drowning

the option that made

me feel I should adapt

and, probably, pervert

my core value?

 

Or was it the fear of feeling adrift

in a dark ocean of lonely:

that swaying sense of sad, of swirl,

afraid to let what is, unfurl.

 

(pic courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net/fantasista)

Unlucky thirteenth?

Who knows how many times we’ve split:

Is it five, nine, twelve times, or more?

Whatever.

Each time, we end back right where we started:

Square one. No better, no further.

The same old reunion,

the promises made anew.

Waiting for the other to change,

and no change beginning to come.

Then the same old fights,

scrabbling down the same old paths

of recognition and delusion.

So I wonder if this time, when we finally split for real

– for probably the thirteenth time –

will it possibly be lucky for some?