NaPoWriMo 2018 day 11: my future state of heart

I have two choices in life, as I peruse

the menu of the near middle-aged:

to close my heart, keep it starved,

or remain open to all manner of plates.

 

A closed heart is cruel, deluded,

refusing the delicacies of life,

complains about service, never leaves a tip,

self-righteously deprived of that extra slice.

 

An open heart can skip to the table

that’s rich with the finest cuisine,

selects the plump, the juice, the core,

and dines with the grace of a queen.

 

Hard-of-heart leaves me safe but cold.

An open heart is at risk of hurt.

Hard-of-heart picks at the bones of life.

Open heart eats starter, mains, dessert.

 

Waiter!

I’m putting my order in now…

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trapped in non-life

head in noose

wishing someone could tighten the knot

melting my feet from beneath

 

alone in dilemma

an over-thinking hell

i seek solace under random lorry wheels

 

caught in a block

seeking release from within

i instead feel lost and without

 

age has caught up

i have the tears of a frown

etched on my disappointed face

 

no eyes turn my way

avoiding glance, discovery:

i’m just a forgotten yesterday