That song that’s stuck in your head? Tune into its true message

Tune into that intrusive music in your head to hear what it's got to say. (pic:istockphoto.com/SilverV)

Tune into that intrusive music in your head to hear what it’s got to say. (pic:istockphoto.com/SilverV)

Oh, it’s SO annoying. Your head can’t switch off the replays of the most popular song on the radio you heard before dropping the kids off at school, driving to work, or running an errand. The catchy tune and chorus stick in your head ALL DAY. You think you hate the song, but the melody bounces around in your brain and chatters into your ears like your new best mate.

But apparently the tune that bangs on your eardrums all day  – the so-called ‘earworm’ – is a song you actually know and like, according to psychologists from Western Washington University. Intrusive songs are most likely to turn up their volume when we’re relaxed and doing downtime activities like walking (or maybe the washing up) as well as when we’ve got a lot to do (like homework) and our minds are prone to wander. Annoying songs can creep in then, but are less likely to invade our ears when we’re focused on tough mental jobs and our minds are fully engaged. (If you’d really like to zap an annoying song from your inner playlist, here’s an article on how to get a song out of your head).

But how about a deeper viewpoint? What if the song that’s stuck is trying to communicate something else? What if the only way for your soul to get a message through to you on a particular day is by annoying you with seemingly inane lyrics and by banging your auditory door down with a song that has a deeper meaning for you? Listen in closely to hear what that repetitive chorus might be whispering to you.

When I need inspiration or insight, I trust that the lyrics from a song – popular or otherwise – will spring into my head. It’s a form of clairaudience, where intuition can guide me in a way that’s most meaningful for me that day. The message may not always be profound, but then symbols (visual or auditory) are often clever and subtle and need you to pay attention, interpret and trust them.

So, next time you can’t get words or music out of your head, remember to take note. It could be your inner voice trying to tell you something. Don’t drown it out.

 

When it comes to art, taste matters more than ‘mere exposure’

I’ve fallen in love with works of art in my time. The kind of all-consuming ‘at first sight’ love that has to possess – at whatever cost – the object of beauty. I’ve bought paintings that made me stop still in my tracks, that reached out and tickled my spine and twisted the valves of my heart. Oh, and maxed out my credit card. But for me, they are priceless because I remain in awe of the way the art speaks to me on a level of colour and soul that black-and-white words can never quite reach.

inktuition art

Once I’ve fallen in love with a piece of art, there’s no going back. And I don’t care whether the artwork is considered ‘good’ or ‘bad’ by critics or experts. I love it, and that’s all there is to it. (Even these cute pieces by my daughter, above).

Which is why I was fascinated to read about an experiment carried out by the University of Leeds, which asked if increased exposure to a piece of art will make us like it more. The experiment pulls on the theory of  ‘mere exposure‘, which says that we’ll start liking something if we keep seeing it often enough.

Except that we don’t. The 100 students who took part in the study still hated the ‘bad’ art even when exposed to it, and the researchers concluded that “quality, and not just familiarity, remains in the picture”.

The full findings appear in a paper, Mere Exposure to Bad Art, published in the British Journal of Aesthetics. But I think the key point they make is this: “At issue is the role that artistic quality plays in determining our aesthetic tastes.”

Quite. I think they’ve proved my point.

Never mind my inner voice, it’s my gut that tells me what to do

I’ve been tussling with a particularly painful problem, torn between taking a leap of faith (and all the fear that entails) or staying put (with all the ensuing resentment).

I know that all the answers reside within, but that doesn’t stop me turning to friends for their perspective. My inner voice has gone rather quiet, and no forcing will entice it out of hiding. Which is why I’m relieved that my intuition, my inner guidance, mainly tends to come from my gut. I’ve had a knot in my stomach for weeks, as though a fist were clenching my solar plexus.

CSo, to test out the two options in the decision I have to make, I rolled them around in my thoughts, one at a time, to see how my body reacted. Outcome one (staying put and trying to remedy a situation that I feel is beyond repair) kept the fist clenched. Outcome two (jumping out and hoping to make my wings on the way) amazingly unclenched the fist in my stomach. It was as though a scatter of coloured plastic bricks were tumbling into my belly. Free. Creative. Alive.

I guess option two is the one to take. All I need to do is assemble those tumbling bricks into a shape that best suits this new free me.

When I need strength, where do I look…?

This has been a big issue for me this week. I’ve been going through an issue that requires some practical, emotional and psychological strength, and I’ve been wondering how on earth I can get through it.

I’ve been looking outside of myself for quotes, for expertise, for some kind of reassurance that I’ll be OK. That I’ll get through this test and everything else will be OK.

Except anyone on a spiritual journey knows that, once one task has been brought to consciousness and integrated, another more testing one awaits. That’s the nature of personal growth. The universe may not give us anything we’re not able to deal with, but by heck, once you’re able to deal with one area of consciousness, the universe will of course chuck you a new challenge.

Which brings me back to how I’m going to deal with my issue. I’ve done everything I can to influence the outcome I want, but ultimately the outcome is in the hands of another mortal being (complete with biases, prejudices etc).

And so I am aiming to reach some kind of peace. Tomorrow will bring its own resolution. I am seeking balance, not retribution. I may get some kind of equilibrium, but I so hope the fight will stop and I will be able to continue to be a balanced, hopeful person rather than a defended, anxious one.

In the meantime, I am finding inner strength I never knew I had. For all of the quotes I found, this is the one that always sustains me, and it’s my yoga teacher’s version of the Emerson quote: “The power within you is always greater than the task ahead.”

That is where I get my strength from.

The yin-yang of career: how to turn contradictory into complementary

If you’re in a career you’re meant to be single-minded. If you’re a therapist you’re meant to be caring. What’s the problem about combining them both?

I’ve struggled with years with people who compartmentalise their lives, splitting off their work persona from their private person. Split being the operative word. They are cut off from who they truly are.

Life has to be black or white. Grey is unpleasant, fuzzy and depressing. Extremes seem contradictory. Polarities seem impossible.

Except what if you get your meaning from opposing things, who is to challenge you otherwise. A boss of mind summed this up today as the business (writer/editor) side and the softer (therapist side) as providing the ideal yin/yang healthy combination of how people can and should operate.

Details aside, it’s nice to be open about one’s self, and be appreciated for it. And, instead of castigating the side of oneself that is perhaps out of step with the other, to perhaps for a second consider the beauty of the opposite. Instead of the ‘you’re wrong’ versus the ‘I’m right.” Think instead of the yin to the yang.

My soul’s lesson for today: what you do, you get more of (whether you want it or not)

On the train to work this morning, I wondered why the person who sat down opposite me needed to finish off eating his tube of mango ice cream (yes, at 8.30 in the morning!) with his fingers (yes, on a crowded train!) The sucking and slurping turned my stomach, and distracted me from a paper I was reading for my project.

Fast forward a couple of hours and I am sitting in a fairly quiet sandwich shop with my laptop, trying to work on said project, and a big bloke sits down beside me, chomps his tuna and cucumber wrap loudly, and licks his fingers with aplomb every time he takes a bite. I only wanted a quiet corner to work on some writing, not to be interrupted by other people’s noisy eating habits!

It’s so annoying to keep magnetising experiences in my life I’d rather do without. (pic: istockphoto.com/michelangelus)

Why have I attracted two annoying people with questionable manners to sit down near me and interrupt me? I can’t think of any reason why I magnetised the noisy eaters into my energy field, other than the fact that I have been delaying putting the finishing touches to my project. And these aural and visual assaults are a consequence of not having committed to my day. Distraction breeds more distraction.

I pressed the snooze button on my alarm one too many times this morning, and so I was late getting the train. I needed to read and take notes but couldn’t do that easily because I had to stand up all the way. Lateness breeds more lateness.

I had my mid-morning snack later than usual today, so I wasn’t hungry when I ordered my lunch. Today they gave me a huge portion that I couldn’t finish because I was still full from earlier. Fullness breeds more fullness.

I think the lesson my soul wants me to remember today is Continue reading

Am I the only writer for whom an MA achievement is an anticlimax?

I’ve been trying to put a name to the feeling that’s mine right now – and all of London’s. Not to big myself up, or minimise the impact of London 2012 and the phenomenal achievements of the Olympians and Paralympians. But there’s something in the air that I’ve been trying to feel, own, and put into words. Without sounding ungrateful. Or like a next-project-obsessed workaholic.

Even the best parties have to come to an end.

OK, so I may be both of those things. At times. But this feeling is like the puckered balloons the day after a mega party. The dust-covered peanuts you find down your sofa weeks after a dinner party. And the sense of having loved (all the guests) and then lost (when they all leave) when you’ve worked so hard and wanted to make every detail a winning, talked-about one. Which parties generally are, and they certainly were for the million people I had to say ‘excuse me’ to, on a way to a meeting through central London at lunchtime yesterday. A million people lined the streets to salute the London 2012 stars.

But my individual deflated feeling, in the midst of all this post-Olympic partying, started with the certificate arriving for my MA. Continue reading

Why do we only truly appreciate the BIG moments in life…?

I attended the Paralympic Games this week. It was hard enough to get tickets to the Olympic Stadium, given the success of London 2012, and I was full of awe at just being there.

The Paralympics in London have been awesome on so many levels.

My eight-year-old daughter was beside herself with excitement: she’d been looking forward to it for weeks. She throws herself into whatever event, party or park she’s at, wholeheartedly and whole-bodily present. In comparison, I often find my mind wandering, and my body shifting to get comfortable. I envy her ability to truly live her moment.

Except at the Paralympic athletics this week, I lived mine. From the moment I entered the stadium – watching strong men in wheelchairs power across the finish line, one-legged men effortlessly clearing high jumps, and the whole crowd cheering for every other country’s anthems – I felt humbled to be human. Especially given the superhuman feats taking place in the stadium in front of me.

It was a hot evening, but a friendly and uplifting one. I breathed in each moment I was there, knowing there wouldn’t be any others like this. I didn’t want the lights to come on, because I knew that would signal home time.

I truly lived my BIG moment because I knew my chance to watch Paralympic athletics at the London 2012 Olympic stadium would never come again. So why don’t I appreciate all moments in the same way – big, small or otherwise – even though I know they won’t be repeated either…?

When you’re ready to follow your Soul, synchronicities will show you the way

As a journalist, I know when I’m onto a good story when I hear it from three different sources. That’s why I know my Soul’s telling me something when the synchronicities line up in threes (often in one day!)

My Soul talks to me in ‘meaningful coincidences’ that often come in threes. (pic: istockphoto.com/kellyreekolibry)

Synchronicity, in the words of the wonderful Carl Gustav Jung, are “meaningful coincidences”. They’re stuff that happen to you that can’t possibly be a coincidence, but they have a pattern and some meaning to you personally. They’re external happenings that have symbolic significance for what’s going on internally for you.

I take synchronicity as a sign that my Soul is talking to me. It wants to tell me that I’m on the right road, that all doors I push against will open without force, and that I’m evolving beyond just the skin I’m in.

Anyone on a spiritual path will know that at some point the Ego will surrender to the Soul. That surrender can take a while, and it can involve months and years of battle. One’s defences can take some dismantling. They cling on with their fingernails, refusing to give up. But when it’s time for the Ego to wave the white flag and admit time’s up, that’s when the Soul steps in. Ever graceful, ever elusive, the Soul has symbolic messages that the Ego has to be in a mood and state to receive and interpret.

I’m often in awe of how Soul can communicate. Here’s how it reached me three times in one hour:  Continue reading

The steps I take (literally) to avoid my novel

I had to laugh the other day when I was reminded of the phrase I heard in my teens about whether a guy is interested in you or not: ‘Don’t listen to the mouth. Watch the feet.’ I was never quite sure what it meant, but I thought it boiled down to ‘actions speak louder than words’.

What made me laugh, however, was how the body acts out what the mind (conscious or unconscious is feeling/wanting/wishing). Body language gives everything away, if you know how to read it. In my case, my body was literally ‘acting out’ what my mind was thinking.

There are a bunch of temporary ‘Wenlock’ and ‘Mandeville’ statues around London as part of the Olympic Games London 2012 celebrations, which encourage little kids and grown kids alike to follow the ‘trails’ around London, being photographed at each one. Every Wenlock is detailed according to his environment, and so you have City Wenlock with bowler hat and striped suit, and a PhoneBox with suitably red phonebox attire.

How can I keep avoiding such an entertaining reminder of my novel?

Except that the Wenlock closest to where I work – as I discovered weeks after he was first placed there – is called Novel Wenlock. And I have been AVOIDING him every day, either walking past without noticing or taking a different route across a square rather than the direct route past him.

I laughed when I realised. Because I have totally been avoiding my novel (the one that passed the MA examiners, but which needs so much work on it still). Perhaps I’ll be more conscious and mindful of it now I know that I can’t pass by Novel Wenlock every day without saying hello.