the deadness that lies beneath

The deadness that lies beneath
any anxious, depressive days
is worse than any mayhem,
any stress or mild dismay.

It stinks beneath the floorboards
lurking like a snake
that slithers in insidious ways,
reminds me I’m a mistake.

I’d no idea what I was defending from
when I partied teenage nights,
or worked so hard and pushed myself
up those well-paid, giddy heights.

But the fall was swift and brutal
and it keeps on bashing me blue.
There’s no respite from relentlessness,
just many more reasons to rue.

And so I’ve looked into that abyss
when I’ve felt I’ve had enough.
Weighing how I’ll escape it all.
How, finally, I’ll be snuffed.

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