I hate this dream. It encapsulates everything that’s wrong with my life. I’m obsessive about time, fearful of being late, and I have to arrive an an airport well before check-in opens or I literally shake with anxiety.
So having this dream about having to pack my case quickly and run to the airport because the flight is going to leave truly feels like a punishing way to spend my sleep time.
The big issue is that I keep having this dream. And that means it’s trying to tell me something. I think this goes beyond being obsessed with time, which is something I’m conscious of. I know that time obsession is a thinly veiled death anxiety, as any existentialist will tell you.
No, I’m wondering what this stress dream is really trying to tell me. Carl Jung said: “The dream is a little hidden door in the innermost and most secret recesses of the soul.” My job is to interpret what that dream means by trying to find the key to unlock the door to whatever secret my soul is trying to communicate with me.
In the one last night, I’d already left to catch my flight but had one too many suitcases, and would have to leave one behind. I then proceeded to unpack one of the suitcases, which was full of a child’s clothes. I was leaving the child behind with my grandmother (who died some years ago), and I had just 50 minutes to get to the airport and get my flight. Someone said I should change it anyway, because the weather wasn’t great to fly in. I had a deep embrace with a man who suddenly appeared in my dream, and I ended up choosing to stay and not worry about the money I’d have to spend on buying a new flight.
Jung says that dreams compensate for what is missing in your conscious life, and a dream will continue to up the ante until you get the message. I’m wondering whether it’s the ‘big thing’ I’m not dealing with, but is pressing down on me. I know I have to take action, but something more pleasant is stopping me (and I’m allowing it to stop me). This could relate to commitments I’ve taken on that I want to relieve myself of.
However, what was different about this dream is that I was unpacking a suitcase. Instead of carrying all my burdens and stresses around with me, I was letting some of them go. The ones I was letting go were children’s. [I feel a huge emotional surge and the pull of tears as I write this, so it must have some resonance.] I wonder if, finally, I’m starting to let go of the childhood angsts and pains and fears? And perhaps facing my own maturity, at last? Instead of giving in to self-imposed pressures, I can stop and do what matters in the moment.
As always, I’m curious about the male characters who appear in my dreams, especially if I get intimate with them. Is this a softer, more loving animus as opposed to the one who dictates the musts and shoulds in my life?
I hope next time I hang around long enough in that part of my dream to find out.